We have a date! :)

We got great news this week!  Our travel approval and confirmed dates!  We will be meeting and picking up our son in just about 3 weeks!  Of course this news has thrown me and my hyper-sensitive pregnant emotions into a frenzy.  On the one hand I'm so thrilled to finally be at this step and on the other I'm thinking of the hundreds of things we still need to do before we can leave for China!

But despite the anxiety, I think I will just, for now, focus on the fact that very soon I will be snuggling with this little guy:

 

 

Our travel itinerary is still in process, but what I do know is that we will be leaving from Denver on November 10th and (after a couple layovers - Seattle and Tokyo) arriving in Shanghai on November 11th.  We will get our guy on the 12th and spend a few days sightseeing and completing adoption process stuff in Shanghai.  Then we will fly to Guangzhuo where we will do a little more sightseeing and complete steps to obtain Leo's passport so he can fly home.  We will spend one night in Hong Kong (though, sadly, with no time to see any of the things we love of that city) and then fly home November 21st.  We have two more layovers on the way home (Tokyo and Minneapolis - why Minneapolis?!?!?  Who knows!) and then land in Denver the afternoon on the 21st.  We will then spend a couple of days in Colorado with Nana and Pops so that Mom and Dad (that's Caolon and I - how cool is that?!?) can get a little rest and try to recover a bit from the crazy jetlag that accompanies any trip from China (but I'm guessing even more so when that trip involves a nervous toddler).

So there is a lot for us to think and dream about now.  Here's hoping the next three weeks go by fast!

And then a surprise...

The week after Tennessee, we found ourselves on Casper Mountain chaperoning youth at the Summit Youth Group retreat.  One week of sleeping in a cabin full of teenage girls always leaves me feeling run down, but this week it felt even more so.  Each day I found myself feeling more and more tired and toward the end of the week, I was also feeling shakey, queasy, and just overall...not quite right.  It wasn't like the flu or a cold or anything else I have ever experienced, so by midweek, I started to get a little nervous.  Wednesday morning, halfway through camp, I managed to find some alone time with Caolon and I told him I thought I might be pregnant.  Of course, there was nothing we could do from there, and he told me to try not to think about it too much, but I think we both knew it was true.

Saturday evening, once we'd gotten home and sent all the youth back to their parents, we went to the store for a test.  I couldn't wait until the morning (as recommended by the package) to take the test.  But it turns out, I didn't have to...

Well...obviously this was shocking news.  We had been "not preventing" and trying to conceive for several years and now that we had decided to pursue adoption and fallen in love with our son, we become pregnant?  Does God think He's being funny?  How can this be the right timing?

We took the test to Caolon's parents to share the news with them and after a nice long panicky meltdown on my part, we finally started to accept the idea that not only were we going to become parents, but we would become parents of two children within five months of each other.  Eep!!!

Tennessee

Three weeks, one headcold (for Caolon), and some very lazy/loungy afternoons at home later, we were back in an airplane and on our way to Tennessee.  My stepsister lives there and we were accompanying my DisneyDad on a trip to see her.  This trip was great fun and the best part was meeting my sweet little niece, Ariana.  Soon her Poppa will have a little Leo grandson to spoil, too!



Best Vacation Ever!

Two weeks after becoming Leo's pre-approved parents, we were on a plane to Hawaii with my awesome Colorado family!  The trip had been a dream of my dad's and we were finally getting to go!

The ten days we spent on Oahu, staying at Disney's amazing Aulani Resort, were some of the best days of my life.  Our days were spent soaking in the sun, splashing around in the ocean, lounging in the lazy river at our resort, eating massive quantities of shave ice and drinking tastey tropical cocktails, and sightseeing around the island.  The entire time, I couldn't help but dreaming about what it would be like to have Leo with us.  I'm pretty sure "Nana," "Pops," Auntie Heather, and Auntie Hols were thinking the same thing!



The view from our room.  Aulani was breathtaking!

Us feeling closer to Leo on the map at Pearl Harbor.

Nana and Leo next to Leo's name in the Olelo room.

Our group by Spitting Cave.

All of us showing our true colors.  :)



Meet Leo!

So our paperwork was approved and we were logged into the system to be eligible for a match by May.  Between the months of March and May, we were referred a few children who seemed very sweet, but whom we felt were not our child.  Each time it was hard to say no, looking at those sweet little faces and knowing those children needed homes.  But each time, God was telling us to keep waiting.  The shared list at the end of May did not have our child on it as we'd been hoping, and as much as I knew the right one just hadn't come along yet, it was so dishearting to think we were going to have to keep waiting for the next list to be released in June.  I am not exactly patient, so the idea of having to wait another month for a match that may or may not come just seemed excruciating!

One week after the disappointing shared list not yielding a match for us, we were getting into bed when the phone rang.  It was 9:30 p.m., so we were a little surprised when we saw that the caller id was not from a number we recognized.  Caolon went ahead and answered anyway and it turns out, the call was about our son!  China had released a surprise shared list and there was a little guy on there that our agency thought we might want to see.  They read us the description and he sounded perfect, so we asked them to send us his file.  We were giddy when the email came through and we opened the first image to see this picture:

 

One look and I knew he was our boy.  We read through his information to find that he was born with a small hole in his heart, that has since closed on its own, and that he was a bit developmentally delayed (most likely due to being raised in the orphanage).  Both of these needs were things we felt comfortable with and able to support him in.  We found out that he was 16 months old at the time and that the agency described him as "a lovely boy who is adored by all."  He was perfect! 

 

We spent the next couple of days having our doctor review his file, writing our letter of intent to let China know we wanted to be his parents, and pray, pray, praying.  Everything checked out with the doc, so we submitted our letter.  A few weeks later (when we were in Hawaii on a magical vacation with my Colorado family), we got the email indicating that we had been pre-approved as this sweet little guy's parents.

 

We have decided to name him Livingston, after Caolon's grandpa, Dayle Livingston Butner.  His middle name will be his Chinese name, Shengshi.  So here is our sweet little Livingston Shengshi McNamee.  (Leo, for short!)

 

 

 





Many small hours later...

Well, once again, I have been a blog neglecter!  It turns out I might not be cut out for maintaining a regular blog.  However, I started this thing as a way of documenting our adoption process and now that it is nearing completion, I am realizing I want to finish what I started.

Oh yes, our adoption process is almost over!  Next month, we will be flying to China to meet and bring home our little boy!  We are so excited and so much has happened since May that there is no way to capture it all in one post.  I think I'm going to take a card from my friend and fellow adoptive mommy, Katie, and spend the next couple of days going backwards and posting on our process and all that has happened in the past six months.

Be patient with me folks, I promise this story is a good one. :)

Fast-forward two months...

I can't believe two months have passed since my last post in February.  So much has happened!  Our fingerprints were approved.  We have been cleared to bring a child into America.  We sent our dossier to China in March and received our log-in date in April.  Our agency believes we should be matched with our child this month when the next shared list is released.  Both of us are excited for this next step, as we are looking forward to finding out just who our little Panda might be!

So on the adoption front things are going well.  In the meantime, I have been working on some other things in preparation for becoming a mommy.  I think it's no secret that I have struggled with my weight for the past decade or so.  Two years ago, I decided to do something about it for once and for all.  I talked Caolon into joining Weight Watchers with me and we started eating better and exercising.  After about 4 months, we'd each lost 30 lbs.  That was great!  Then last year, when my mom got sick, we (well, mostly I) got lazy (well mostly depressed), stopped following the program, and started eating Dairy Queen Blizzards daily as a means of satiating the depression.  We still went to the WW meetings.  They still collected our money.  But otherwise we were back to our old habits.  And I gained 10 lbs.

Now that I'm starting to feel a little distance from losing my mom (which is actually just a new kind of sad), and now that we are starting to think as parents and realizing we can't just live for ourselves anymore (which is actually an awesome anticipation), we decided to get back in gear and lose the rest of our weight.  In February, we got serious about WW again, started eating better, stopped eating ice cream (as much), started working out (a lot), and I'm down 15 lbs!  That means I've lost a total of 35 lbs from when I originally started and I feel fantastic about that!  I've only got 25 to go before I am at my goal.  Here are some before/after pics to give you an idea (the first one is a little dark, but it's the best I had - I hid from cameras a lot in 2010.)


Me in 2010 when my niece was born.

Me on our trip to WDW last month.

In addition, I started the couch to 5K running plan and am almost finished.  I'm running 25 minutes now with no problem.  It's amazing!  I feel like beating this weight issue is going to make me a better mother.  I will be able to raise Panda to eat healthier by setting the example, and I will have more energy and ability to play with him/her now that I'm more active and in shape. 

I've also been working on other things.  Working on growing closer to God so that my heart is more ready to serve as parent.  Working on getting our home ready so that it is more prepared to house a toddler.  Working on planning our upcoming summer so that our minds and bodies can be rested and ready for the little one.  And just plain...well...working.

So if I've been gone from my blog a little too long, just know that things are moving.  Good stuff is happening.  Let's keep moving forward!