And so we've decided...

I love kids.  Obviously.  Or else I wouldn't have gone into teaching.  I love my 8th graders.  I love my friends' children.  I adore my goddaughter and  my niece.  So why don't I have my own kids?

Well.  It's not that we haven't tried.  We have been in the "not preventing" stages of trying for the past six years.  We've seen our doctors for the basic tests - we aced them all.  There is nothing wrong with either of us - technically we should be perfectly capable of conceiving.  But we haven't.

This has bothered me at times.  Particularly in my twenties when it seemed like everyone I knew was pregnant.  I felt out of the loop.  Like I hadn't gotten my invitation to the big "baby party".  But after the initial self-mopiness faded, I realized it wasn't really that big a deal. 

Honestly, the idea of pregnancy and birth were not high on my list of must-dos.  I much prefer the old stork method - just open my door one day and find a child ready to go.  (Particularly an older one as I honestly have no clue what to do with an infant.  Give me a two year old and I am fine.  I can clown around and horseplay for hours.  But an infant.  They just sit there.  How do you work with something like that?) 

So while I am not overly concerned with conceiving and having a child the natural way, I have been feeling the need for a child of my own lately. 

We went to Disney World a few weeks ago and got to spend a lot of time with my 18-month old niece, Belle.  She was so much fun.  Even the moments when all we did was sit with her in the park somewhere.  It was a joyful and curious and energizing and wonderful time. 

Caolon was great with her.  They really bonded, which was adorable.  I found myself missing her at night when she went with her parents back to their room for bed.  I miss her now that we are home and I don't have the privilege of seeing her daily.  I thought about trying to buy her off of Shawn.  He does like money.  But, I am pretty sure I'm out of luck.  He seems to be quite attached to his little "cookie monstee".  If I want a kid, I'm going to have to find one of my own. 

I have been considering adoption from China since I was in my twenties and my mom's bestie, Katie, adopted two of her daughters from there.  It seemed like a perfect fit for our family.  Mom always loved China, and after travelling with her to China a few years ago, I now a carry a piece of that beautiful country in my heart, too.  But I wasn't sure that we would qualify (China has a lot of regulations about who they allow to adopt their children).  And I wasn't sure that we could afford the expense (it is one of the more affordable options for adoption, but even still, the pricetag is pretty steep).

When we were in Disney World, riding the bus to Downtown Disney, the topic of adoption came up.  Katie (who was travelling with us, as it was a memorial trip for my mom) listened to my concerns and enouraged me to look into China again.  She thought that adoption from there might not be as impossible as I had previously thought.  Talking to her, I got really excited.  Maybe this would be an option for us after all! 

The day we came home from Disney, I contacted our local adoption agency for information.  Two days later, we had selected our placement agency and applied. 

We have started the process and are hoping by this time next year we will have (or be close to having) a sweet little toddler from China!